Why Don't I Shut UP?

So today is "Bring Your Kids To Work" Day. I was actually considering bringing one of the rugrats in with me. But then I got to thinking. This has nothing but bad news written all over it. First off, the whole idea of chasing my kids through a myriad of cables and servers and PCs just sent a chill down my back. How would I explain that my kid yanked the T1 for the entire company out of the wall? Second, how freakin' bored would a kid be sitting here watching me pretend to look busy??? Sure, they'd be out of school which is always cool on the surface. But, Jesus, i'm falling asleep just considering how bored she'd be.

So then I got to thinking, they should start a "Take A Friend To Work" Day. Screw that Take A Kid To Work crap. Think about it. You could tell your boss, "hey, its Take A Friend To Work Day. My buddy Matt invited me to go to work with him down at the Cheese Factory." And he could tell his boss that he was coming to my work with me. Then we'd all meet at the amusement park and throw Snak Pak chocolate puddings off the Ferris Wheel at people and yell "DUCK DIARRHEA!!!!" How fun would that be??

Its basically the same concept as "i'm sleeping over at billy's house..." then you and billy run around town changing the letters on business signs to read perverted things like "Big Sale: Huge Cocks Half Off." Ya gotta be careful with that one. If you get caught, apparently the punishment is 48 hours of community service raking leaves that the High School while the students point and laugh....but I wouldn't know about that one.

Or maybe Take A Badger To Work...that could be fun. Or how about Take Your Pants Off At Work...that might NOT be that fun. Just thinking outloud.

I got one of those camera phones. The only thing they're good for is catching people in the act. Oh they're so much fun. I especially love taking snapshots of folks in the cafeteria just as they're shoving meatloaf into their mouth. i'm gathering quite the collection. On my last day here i'm going to hack the company website and put pics of higher ups standing in the hallway, digging their jockeys out of their cracks. Needless to say, I'm not allowed to take my phone into the bathroom anymore.

I'm not sure if its the weather change or a mid-life crisis (if thats the case I guess i'm dead at 60...) or what, but its getting harder and harder to come to work. Putting aside the fact that there are certain people at work who I wouldn't pee on if they were on fire, I'm just starting to think of this place as a tar pit. Sinking....SIIIINNNNNKING...

Anyhoo...

So the last show is this Saturday. People are asking me "how do you feel about it?" The truth is, i'm ready. I'm really ready to get away from it all. A few of my friends in other bands are starting to try and rally the scene to get folks to support original music. Been there...done that. I will help spread the word but I know how hard it is. Good luck, my brethren.

Oh well...i gotta get going. The tar pit is calling

posted by Michael Witmer @ Thursday, April 22, 2004