Cripes, I don't even know why I need to go to work anymore. I am one of the MILLIONS upon MILLIONS of jerkwads who jumped on the bandwagon of the Information Technology boom. You've all heard the commercials..."The average Microsoft Certified Technician makes over $90 Cajillion a year...what are you doing with your life you lazy deadbeat slob?" So through the miracles of modern day technology I can jump on my companies network and literally do almost anything I could do while sitting in the office.
Which brings me to my point. Technology may be designed for convenience but in a truer form, its alienating us from each other. I can honestly say that me, being the super social guy that I am (thats a joke), would much rather send an e-mail than talk on the phone.
When was the last time you or I actually wrote a letter (birthday cards do not count!). And i'm talking bust out the pen and paper and start scratching away. The only time I write a letter is when I'm pissed off. And usually they are on those little yellow sticky notes and they say something to the effect of "learn how to park your fucking mini-van, you spot-hogging slob."
I mean, think back to when you were a kid (and if you're younger than 20 then just stop thinking cause you don't count for this exercise). Remember the stuff we had as a kid? My house had one of those HUGE busted ass color televisions that was encased in the wooden cabinet with the speakers built into the sides...the damn thing looked like coffin television...all dead all the time. But if that wasn't bad enough, the thing didn't work so we had a smaller Tv stacked on top of it. To the coffin TV was basically the origin of what we know now as the entertainment center.
And we didn't have cable. Oh no...no no no...we had one of those gigantic TV antennas jutting from our roof. On top of the coffin-tv-entertainment center was this box with a large dial. WHen you turned the knob in any one direction is would start rattling and kachunk-kachunk-kachunking and amazingly the antenna on the roof would rotate until the TV station you were trying to get would come in a little clearer. Now THAT, my friends, was technology. At any given moment I expected that box to explode or the antenna to fall from the roof and impale someone as it crashed to the ground.
The only thing that is keeping us all from being complete shut-ins is one thing: Alcohol. Thats right...we go out...we get drunk...and then everyone is our best friend (or our worst enemy depending on what type of drunk you are...but its still human contact, right?).
What a sad world it will become when we're all sitting in our living rooms wired into our tvs and cell phones and food replicators and we're guzzling the latest low-carb beer and sending an instant message to some other dingbat in Flatbush, Idaho to tell them how great they are and what a best friend they've been over the last 2 weeks. When Instant Messages and e-mails replace the "drunk dial" (which i'm particularly fond of) I'm punching out.
posted by Michael Witmer @ Monday, June 13, 2005
6 Comments:
<< Technology may be designed for convenience but in a truer form, its alienating us from each other.>>
You know what? I’ve actually thought this very same thing. But I still call friends on the phone. Well, those friends that I don’t talk to every day. (The ones I call once a week or once a month.) Because I will tell you this…it’s a lot easier to talk with your friends all day via email vs someone seeing you ON THE PHONE all day long talking with your friends. HEHE ssshhhh.
The last time I wrote a letter? Humm…yeah, it’s been a couple of years. And let me tell you…it was a “catch up” letter and my hand was cramping after writing the first page!! HAHA Talk about lack of “holding a pen” muscles. Although I have written the occasional “short note”. :)
You know what I remember? Having to flip that little switch on the back of the TV for UHF and VHF. Haha
Oh and I thought you were sick?
T~
Man oh man have you hit the nail on the head with this one...hell I'm sitting on the couch with my kick-ass new laptop typing away right now! I used to have to get up and walk 15 feet to my "office area" and miss all the good tv shows on Dish Network! :)
All I can do is quote your famous last words whenever I call YOU. Notice not the other way around. And I quote, "I gotta go right now, but I'll call you later." This after being on the phone with you for all of two seconds. And do you ever call? That's a big NO! So, lazy fat slob, pick up the phone and call your sister. Better yet, call your mother. She misses you.
All I can do is quote your famous last words whenever I call YOU. Notice not the other way around. And I quote, "I gotta go right now, but I'll call you later." This after being on the phone with you for all of two seconds. And do you ever call? That's a big NO! So, lazy fat slob, pick up the phone and call your sister. Better yet, call your mother. She misses you.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH!!!!! Yeah man you are RIGHT ON! We too had the wonderful coffin tv's with its little feeder fish tv sitting on top! I can still remember trying to slip thru the living room unnoticed before my loving Dad (relaxing after a tough day at work) would put up his kid sensor and snag me and say.."Oh, honey, would you be a dear and switch that channel for me as long as your up??" which of course would take about 3 hours as I got used as a human remote control..."oh wait lets see what this is..no wait.... go back.... no... check 7... now back to 13... well ill watch a bit and see if this is good" etc etc.
Its funny.. Ive done the drunken text message many times and thought I was the only one. You shouldve seen me sitting there chuckling to myself.. but then of course you probably couldnt even picture it, because even though youre a great friend and weve had some really deep conversations, and you know me better than a lot of people.. youve only seen me in person about 3 times!
crazy shite..
What is this? Double-Post Tuesday???
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