So you all can call me Mr. Green Jeans cause I'm one HELL of a gardener. I spent about 3 hours after work yesterday working in my yard. Just to clarify, my yard is roughly the size of most people's living room. So now you're asking yourself...three hours? How in the hell did you spend three hours in your yard. First, let me say, I spent three hours and i'm not near done. Second, I HATE YARD WORK. And to make matters worse, I have this strange feeling that Martha Stewart or some flower-crazy bitch lived in my house before. There are so many things growing in my backyard that I feel like yelling JUMANJI everytime i'm back there. To the point where if I don't spend 30 minutes a day out there pulling weeds, my house will get devoured by the Little Yard Of Horrors...So I decided to take action. Rose bushes, Tulips, Chinese lanterns, climbing vines, weeds...I mowed the hell over all of them. It was a push-mower eradication and I felt like the Hitler of plants. If you're not grass, you're gone! If I could've mowed the hedges down, I would've...thats how crazy I got. So now my tiny back yard is FULL of giant piles of brush. Twelve piles of plant carnage. I found myself standing triumphantly over the severed limbs and wanting to yell "LET THAT BE A MESSAGE TO YOU ALL!!!!"
I have no idea how my yard accumulated that much brush (or how much more I'll accumulate before i'm done). About the time I get the yard cleaned up, i'll move. Maybe next time I'll just move into the middle of a rain forrest...that might not be as bad as far as yard work is concerned.
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