This weekend was one of those odd weekends where it felt like my house was closing in around me. It seemed like everywhere I looked, there was a mess to be found. Normally, I can pull the stereotypical male response and tell myself that the woman that lives in the house with me will eventually clean it up. Granted, I'd never let it get to the point where the house was an environmental hazard with corpses and toxic waste piling up in the corners. But from time to time, I slip in the mode of slob. You do too so quit lying to yourself.
But by Sunday afternoon I'd had enough. In the immortal words of Popeye, "I'd had alls I can stands...I can't stands no more!"
So I was bitten by the housekeeping bug...i think this one was a scorpion or something. I'd started out well enough. Running vacuum, doing a couple dishes. Then it moved on to more Extreme Sport Housecleaning. Mopping the kitchen floor, dusting (gasp!), the 100 meter rake toss.
Suddenly, I was frantic. I'd declared war on clutter. Genocide on germs. Mr. Clean didn't have shit on me!
So as I'm running around in my maids outfit, looking slightly less manly than Alice from the Brady Bunch (with less facial hair too) I realized it was a lost cause. You can't clean a house with 3 dogs, 2 kids, and three cats running around. It is NOT..Humanly....Possible!
It suddenly started feeling like a Three Stooges episode. I'd clean the floor, turn around, and there would be foot prints. I'd wash the dishes, and blink and there were more dirty dishes.
nyuck nyuck nyuck *slaps self in the forehead repeatedly*
The most aggravating part: I'm vacuuming in the living room and the kids are yelling at me cause i'm blocking their view of the TV. I don't know about your kids but my kids gain the consistency of a beached jellyfish once Cartoon Network flashes on the screen. I'm serious, I could use the TV as a tool for confinement for these punks.
can't....move....TEEEEEE.........VEEEEEEEEE
So, of course, my house is a mess again. And all that hard work seems like an episode of epilepsy that I just made up in my mind. So maybe its better to just let everything go and wallow in filth. But before i do that, I'm gonna adopt child slavery laws and put my little honkies to work.....
SCRUB, MY PRETTIES...OR ELSE YOU WON"T GET ANY GRUEL!!!
posted by Michael Witmer @ Monday, January 23, 2006
4 Comments:
I think your blog is true except if you are a pyshco. My house is always clean.... Can you guess who posted this????
I know EXACTLY who it is. Call me sometime and quit being such a nerdy stranger.
Yes as a mother of 4 kids and the caretaker of 2 (plus sometimes) extra.. the best thing to fight fire with fire is pretty much what you said. Put them to work and teach them the value of it. Unless of course some of them are tiny like my 2 youngest and their cousins that are (always) here and then they WANT to help in return for like.. a popsicle or maybe a shiny coin from your exotic adventure to Canada.. then you just get to point and giggle...
jaime
Do you think its bad to spray your kids with the hose to get them to do what you want?
signed: Super Soaker
Post a Comment
<< Home