The NFL Playoffs...
I have to confess something here. For those of you who have been reading this blog for a while, you know I used to be an Eagles fan. Emphasis on USED TO!! But a man can only take so much heartbreak and nausea before he sticks his finger down his throat and purges what's making him retch. Yes, for years I followed the birds. And I'm dating this back to Captain Inconsistent himself, Randall Cunningham...oh yeah...its that bad.
I rode the philly rollercoaster for years, up and down...uuuuup and down. Through injuries and interceptions and all the stinking horse dung that goes along with a lackluster flop of a team like the Eagles. At the beginning of last season I sat down in front of the television on a sunday morning as the first pre-season game rolled. There was new hope in the form of Terrell Owens. Yeah yeah, you Eagles fans will cry about how big a head TO had, or how "flamboyant" he is, but I still knew there was a needed formula there. There was real, unbridled talent. Plus, I liked having the "asshole" on our side for once. Example: 49ers and Deion, Giants and Shocke, Creed and Scott Stapp.
I thought it was great. It put the Eagles in people's faces whether you liked it or not. But, in an effort to tame him, Andy Reid and his choir boys couldn't handle the heat and told TO to split. And now look at them. Down again. Heck, if Donovan stopped huggin' his momma and eatin' so much goddamned Chunky Chicken Heart-Attack Chowder, his big fat ass might be able to evade a few tackles.
So this year, after their embarrassing performace at the last Super Bowl, i swore off the Eagles for good. I didn't watch them...didn't read about them (other than the TO vs. Philly trials in which my buddy TO almost got the chair...just for being who he SAID he'd be for the team...and NO i don't care about being a team player. If it were a real team sport, everyone would get paid the same and they'd all take turns cutting grass). I closed myself off from football because the other teams just didn't matter.
But then something happened. Something that warmed my heart a tad. I felt like the Grinch standing on top of that curled snowy peak of his, straining to hear the Whos' Christmas song.
Daaahhvooo Torraayyy....Yaaavooo Plorrrayyy (or whatever the hell they sang)
The Steelers, folks.
The Steelers...knocking out (in my opinion) the best QBs in the league, and my vote for a superbowl winning team, the Colts.
So, my hope is restored in the colors of black and gold. Of course, me saying all this surely dooms them from winning the playoffs. But hey, at least we won't see Rothlesberger selling soup on TV or dry humping his parents on the sidelines like that fat headed Eagles fatty fat fat.
This is a call to all...think Black and Gold.
P.S.: Eagles fans are the devil. That means you, Jen!
posted by Michael Witmer @ Tuesday, January 17, 2006
11 Comments:
awww. don't pick on poor donovan. Its glandular. He's just big boned. He hasn't shed his baby fat yet.
uhh. TV tacks on about 200 pounds.
True Eagles fans are used to the ups & downs. At least the Eagles are consistent with the winning and then the serious let downs in the end. You can almost set your watch to the second they take a dive. Now, I've never been a big fan of Donovan McNabb, nor do I like Neckbeard (Koy Detmer), actually, there's only a few guys that I like, but that's beside the point...wait, what was my point, oh yeah...it doesn't matter if he does commercials, look at Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, shit, TO, they've all done the quick money endorsement. There's nothing wrong with that. And there definitely isn't anything wrong with lovin' yo momma! Now, I believe Momma McNabb is smarter than we think. I think she realized that her son is not the best QB in the NFL and decided she better do something to make some money for herself before he gets injured or booted and doesn't give her anything. She's a smart lady. But, anyway, Eagles fans may be the devil, but at least we can handle the pain of our team losing without crying about it and blubbering like a little baby; "My name's Wit, I'm a recovering Eagles fan. *whine* I can't take it anymore, I don't like them, I like whoever's winning."
I'm not a recovering Eagles fan...that would mean I still like them. No ma'am, I've had an Eagladectomy. I've thrown them in the same bin as the Cowboys (along with my tricycle and my training pants). My whole point about the commercials is this; "do we really need to watch McNabb eat? Isn't it obvious he likes his soup (and eating baby cattle whole)?
But on an honest note: that was a super reply
That's some big heartburn, wit. You hated the eagles so bad you just stopped watching football altogether? cripes man
Why thank you.
For all we know, he may like to eat kittens with a side order of cole slaw and a worm burrito, but who cares! I don't care about Peyton Manning using a Mastercard or Tom Brady and his "figurative metaphors" (I'm pretty sure none of them know what those big words mean, either) but the commercials aren't made to show what a good (or mediocre) football player they are, or to boost team morale. They're just made to make a few extra bucks. Not like they don't make enough already! And another thing, it's an Eaglotomy, silly.
You're like my dad when it comes to the Eagles. He used to be an Eagles fan, but after all the heartache, he finally had a breakdown. Now his philosophy is to root for a team that ALWAYS loses and you'll never be let down. He's a Saints fan.
Jen!
Don't lump me in with your dad. I've always liked the steelers too but i always got chastized for liking two teams from the same state. Its funny, now that I think about it. It was Eagle fans who were giving me hell...hmmm. And just for the record so nobody else accuses me of being fair weather: I also like the Redskins and god knows THAT ain't picking the do-gooder team. hahahah.
Wow ok, Wit!
Ive been pleading my case with my family and no one GETS it. I ditched the Steelers for all the same reasons you ditched the Eagles.. but I ditched my team farther back. I just got sick of the choking and bs'ing and gave up. Even now as my darling father sat watching the Steelers strong start on Sunday and said 'looking good' I started on my soap box about their other strong starts. But the thing is my know it all brother gets all up in my kool aid saying real fans dont ditch... and thats typical from a girl and Im a band wagon jumper. Yeah I love simple minded people like that.
My point..Wit.. I can relate. Oh my.. can I.
Jaime
Believe me, giving up on the eagles was not an easy thing. It was more akin to telling a good friend to go take a flying fuck through a rolling doughnut. It was something I knew was coming, though.
I have to say that I was rather proud of them making it to the superbowl. But once they got there they pulled their same old shenanigans and that was that.
As for me...I'm not entirely sure that I've had enough of the Eagles. I just figure this will give me the opportunity to catch up on some things that I missed the last few Januarys while wasting my time watching the Eagles squander another opportunity.
Fortunately for me, I also enjoy (in fact, often moreso) watching college football. So, while I was collecting my thoughts about how the Eagles will likely slide back down the NFC ladder for another 7 years or so until things begin to cycle again, I managed to catch quite a few college games.
Fortunately, I'm a big Ohio State fan, thanks to my father's attendance at the Univeristy. So, despite what is considered sacrilege in most of central PA, I spent much of my pent up Eagles cheering energy in routing for the Buckeyes!
Oh how sweet it was to watch them beat Nortre Dame. Charlie Wies may be the "new saviour" of the ND football program...but you've got to come up with a strong game to beat Jim Tressel and the Bucks!
Oh...and just for a reference...in case you really wanted to know:
http://www.seuss.org/seuss/welcome.xmas.html
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